About Me

My photo
A constantly curious and melancholic wanderer...

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

I'm not always happy...

I am not always happy...
I try very hard to be (or to pretend I am). I smile a lot, I joke a lot, I try my best to make other people happy.  But truth be told, I've always been a little sad, even in the happiest moments of my life and I probably always will be...

Things that make me sad:
  • The tears in my volunteers eyes on the one year anniversary of the death of her husband
  • Our cleaner who has become older overnight after she lost her son
  • All the people that I work with, who have lost their identity and sense of selfworth.  Who used to be somebody, but who now is only a little old person stuck in a chair praying to God to take her away
  • People who don't have somewhere warm to sleep at night and who don't know where their next meal will come from
  • The fact that I will one day loose some of the people that I love
  • The feeling off being completely alone, even though I am surrounded by other people
  • Being so far from the place I grew up and the people I love most
  • People that do bad things in the name of God
  • Being loved so much by somebody when I sometimes feel I don't deserve any love
  • Life in general
So there's a peak of the melancholic side of me.  The side I choose not to show to people.  Maybe I'm scared you might not like me if you get to know this side of me...
But hey, I cannot always smile. Life isn't always full of sunshine, and sometimes when you looking for me...you will find me - standing all alone in the rain.


  1. Impossible to not like you. Accepting melancholy as a part of life is difficult, but your strength and luminous smile remains as inspiring as ever.

    And out there in that rain, you won't be alone. I promise.

  2. WIll love you ALWAYS friendy- on your happy and on your sad days!! *hugzzz*

  3. Maybe it is a good thing that you are melanchonic sometimes. The world will not have been able to handle all that light 24/7. Even the biggest pair of funky sunglasses wouldn't have helped...

  4. I've got such special people in my life...