I try very hard to be (or to pretend I am). I smile a lot, I joke a lot, I try my best to make other people happy. But truth be told, I've always been a little sad, even in the happiest moments of my life and I probably always will be...
Things that make me sad:
- The tears in my volunteers eyes on the one year anniversary of the death of her husband
- Our cleaner who has become older overnight after she lost her son
- All the people that I work with, who have lost their identity and sense of selfworth. Who used to be somebody, but who now is only a little old person stuck in a chair praying to God to take her away
- People who don't have somewhere warm to sleep at night and who don't know where their next meal will come from
- The fact that I will one day loose some of the people that I love
- The feeling off being completely alone, even though I am surrounded by other people
- Being so far from the place I grew up and the people I love most
- People that do bad things in the name of God
- Being loved so much by somebody when I sometimes feel I don't deserve any love
- Life in general
But hey, I cannot always smile. Life isn't always full of sunshine, and sometimes when you looking for me...you will find me - standing all alone in the rain.