About Me

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A constantly curious and melancholic wanderer...

Thursday, August 17, 2017

a little poem

I wish I could be one of those people who could just blog everyday and read the news everyday and stay up to date and achieve all these small goals that I set up for myself. I try, I really do... but before I know it - Life happened again and it's been 6 months since I wrote anything and I loose touch with the world out there and get caught up in my own (mostly wonderful) mess.

Here are a few things I do get to do everyday...

  • wake up next to my favourite person (even though I'm really not a morning person and he probably does not feel like my favourite person if it depends on my morning groans) 
  • have lots of cuddles and kisses and pretend play and giggles with my 2 year old boy 
  • feel thankful for the good things in my life 
  • listen to the moana soundtrack at least once a day (less thankful about this one) 
  • prepare healthy food for my family (well most days, some days you just feel like cheating I guess) 
  • work  a little on a new project that involves one of my favourite thing in the world - geriatrics 
  • learn a few new words or phrases in French (actually this does not happen every day, but I really do try and keep up with my studies.)  Il'ya un serpent dans ma botte- he he.  
  • take a few photos on my phone of my somewhat boring life and share it on instagram (sadly the camera we bought broke and the part that needs to be replaced is not made anymore - would have been nice if the lady who sold it to me told me that - so that part of my life is on hold) 
  • talk to God about life and how I never achieve all my goals, but how I am so happy He loves me anyway :) 

Things that I am definitely neglecting is writing and reading... I don't know if that will change soon, but every now and then I come across such beautiful writing that it inspires me.  A while back my husband shared with me this poem that was played in the Season Finale of Penny Dreadful (one of those shows he watch that I should apparently avoid, because I am a sensitive soul) and I thought it was so wonderfully melancholic and touching.  Usually I like to translate poems that touch me in my own language, so I will be sharing the original poem and my version in Afrikaans with you.  

Just a quick hallo from the little island of Mauritius... I can't promise that I will write again soon, but I will always continue writing in some way or another.  

Maybe next time I write it will be how I am achieving all my daily goals... but probably not. Nevertheless I will still be me ;) 

 Ode on Intimations of Immortality from 
Recollections of Early Childhood

William Wordsworth, 1770 - 1850
There was a time when meadow, grove, and stream, The earth, and every common sight To me did seem Apparelled in celestial light, The glory and the freshness of a dream. It is not now as it has been of yore; - Turn wheresoe’er I may, By night or day, The things which I have seen I now can see no more.
  The rainbow comes and goes,  And lovely is the rose; The moon doth with delight  Look round her when the heavens are bare Waters on a starry night Are beautiful and fair; The sunshine is a glorious birth;

Daar was 'n tyd toe veld en sloot en stroom 
- die heelal en elke alledaagse deel - 
vir my kon voorkom soos 'n droom 
omring met 'n heilige glans 
kon dit my gedagtes laat dans 

en elke oomblik van die dag of nag, 
met hierdie droom in my hart 
kon ek alles in 'n oomblik vermag 


kyk my oë steeds maar sien nie meer nie 
my droom was eens en toe nooit weer nie


die reënboog kom en gaan
die roos bring wel weer troos 
die maan loer hoopvol rond 
al is die hemel kaler as die grond 

water wys die sterreprag 
dit skitter tot die end

en dan word die sonsopkoms 
'n nuutgebore wens 

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

My secret affair

 On request of my writer's group... (some facts; we do have a wine fridge, we are married, we do give the Valentine's Day presents as mentioned, and those were some of my vows...but mostly fictional)

To make such a confession right after Valentine's Day, could come as a bit of a shock.

Or maybe it's quite fitting.  Does Valentine's Day  become a bit forced after so many years of marriage?  Does it actually point to what could be wrong in relationships?

I don't know...

I remember I used to find Valentine's Day cliched and I swore never to be sucked into the commercialisation and shallowness of it all.  But then I met my husband and suddenly I wanted to be corny with someone on the 14th of February.  I guess that's why this year I still made him the usual music mix and he bought me beautiful red roses.

But let me get back to my confession... my secret affair.  That thing I promised on my wedding day would never be an option.  "I promise to laugh at your silly jokes and make you feel like the most important person in my life (the words echo through my mind, accusing me of forgetting too soon).

It all started the day he told me he wanted to buy a wine fridge.  I did not approve.  It felt like a waste of money and space in our already cluttered home.  But I finally gave in and it arrived and my husband stocked it with a gallery of wines; white ones, red ones, different vintages and blends and selection wines from smaller vineyards.  Names I never heard before suddenly became well-known in our house - for instance; David and Nadia, Boschkloof, the Sadie Family and Mullineux.

I soon realised this was more than just a hobby.  It was becoming a hobby and an expensive one.

I was feeling angry and neglected... Isn't that how most affairs begin?

I would look at him as his fingers touched these bottles in such a tender way, exploring the suppleness of every new one he took out.  Undressing the bottle with his eyes, opening them with such care, scared to spill a drop of it's precious content.  Then pouring it into the glass, looking admiringly at the colour, taking in the intoxicating smell and finally bringing the glass to his lips, taking that first sip, getting completely lost in its taste.

I wanted him to look at me like that, to smell my hair like he used to, to taste me and loose himself in our embrace.

He asked me to drink with him and share in his new hobby, but I refused.  Maybe out of fear of loosing control or maybe because of the joy this seemed to bring him and how it accentuated the emptiness I felt.

After a few months, I could stand it no more.  It was time I took action... I needed some excitement of my own.  I wanted all my senses to be stimulated, reminding me that I am alive.

I waited until he had a meeting at the office that I knew would continue until late.  I showered and put on my new lingerie that I knew showed just enough to make someone feel enticed and wanting to see more.

I put on my favourite perfume and red, slightly daring lipstick to make my mouth seem fuller, more inviting.  I went downstairs slowly...my heart was pounding now.  I had no idea if I was ready for what I was about to do.

I open the door of the wine fridge and take out a tall, dark bottle.  It was a wine I was not familiar with, called Beeslaar Pinotage.

My glass was already out and I pour the velvet, deep red wine and watches as it moves from side to side, like waves in the searching ocean, before it settles.

I look at the colour - it appeared dark in the bottle, but holding it up against the light I can see that it is lighter than portrayed at first glance.  I take time to really smell it - like I have seen my husband doing so many times.  I close my eyes and forget about my surroundings while trying to only focus on what I can smell.  The subtle nuances of pomegranate and plum with just a hint of spice tease my nose.  I continue to keep my eyes closed and open my lips slightly, and take the first sip.  I don't swallow it immediately but swirl it around in my mouth, exploring the tempting taste with my tongue.

I feel a slight explosion of senses happening in me, creeping through my body, making me feel totally relaxed

I think back to the last few years.  My husband sometimes trying to smell my hair, but me pushing him away, because I am busy with a household task that cannot wait.  I remember so many times he folded his arms around me and kissed me in my neck, and me focusing his attention on something he didn't complete yet for me.

I take another sip - the first ecstasy wearing off and now leaving me with a content feeling - knowing what I have in the glass and the feeling it produces in my body.

I have what I need, I realise.  He wants to share his new love with me because I am and will always be his first love.  He wants to touch me and taste me and show his love to me...

I pour myself another glass and wait for my lover to come home.

Thursday, January 12, 2017

Journalist for a Day

Sometimes I forget that I used to study journalism for a year before I settled on my Occupational Therapy degree.  I love writing and even though in the end I did not see myself as a journalist, it is still fun to sometimes have opportunities to use some of my skills obtained in that first year of studies.  My little writer club's assignment for the month was writing a newspaper article, so I decided to write about Meryl Streep's powerful speech at the Golden Globes as well as the fact that social media and the internet makes it easier to find and share information, but so much more difficult to find the truth.  

Meryl Streep Trumps with Golden Globe speech

This year’s 74th Golden Globe Awards Ceremony had many memorable moments from the Hollywood stars but included an underlying tension about the future, in particular with the upcoming inauguration of the controversial president-elect of the United States, Donald Trump.  

Although there were a few jokes about Trump during the ceremony, it was Meryl Streep who took the opportunity on stage to voice her disappointment in the people’s choice during November elections.   Streep who received a lifetime achievement award and is called the greatest actress of her generation, used the podium to address what she calls “poor performance” by the man who is about to fill the country’s most powerful seat this Friday, 20 January 2017.  She specifically referred to an incident where Trump allegedly mocked a news reporter with a disability.  Streep continued with a powerful statement saying:  “This instinct to humiliate, when it’s modeled by someone in the public platform, by someone powerful, it filters down into everybody’s life, because it kind of gives permission for other people to do the same thing. Disrespect invites disrespect, violence incites violence. And when the powerful use their position to bully others, we all lose.”

Trump had a quick response on Twitter saying that he was not surprised by Streep’s remarks, calling her a “Hillary-lover” and denying that he mocked the reporter, Serge F Kovaleski. Kovaleski, a South-African born reporter writing for the New York Times, suffers from a chronic condition called arthrogryposis, which limits the functioning of his joints.   Trump has continually claimed that he has never met Kovaleski and therefore could not have mocked his disability and stated he was rather referring to what a “flustered reporter” would look like.  According to Kavoleski, he and Trump not only met on a regular basis for interviews and articles, but were on first-name basis for years. 

Trump continued on Twitter, calling Meryl Streep one of Hollywood’s most over-rated actresses. This is just one of many occasions where Trump has made use of social media to respond to claims about his integrity, or to share his unconventional views on sensitive topics.  It is clear that social media played a major role in this presidential election and that Trump’s showmanship and raw unfiltered use of it, sparked interest in many voters and the 19.3 million followers he has on Twitter.  This, together with a general drop in trust of mass media, could have played a role in his surprising victory on 9 November 2016.  According to social media experts, less than one in three Americans  still have confidence in the media to “report the news fully, accurately, and fairly.” Among Republicans especially, trust of media is lower than the norm. 

Streep who has been nominated for 19 Academy Awards and 30 Golden Globes, holds the record for the most nominated actor of all time.  In total she has received 157 different awards internationally, 3 of them Academy Awards.  In her lifetime achievement speech she focused on the importance of diversity and empathy towards human beings.  She also asked the public to support the committees protecting journalists and the press who we need to “safeguard the truth”.  

The question remains what the future will hold for a world seemingly ruled by social media and unsupported tweets and feeds.  Where values are easily forgotten through internet shaming or trying to get more likes and shares and where people seem to lose the ability to find the truth amongst the noise of loud voices. We can only hope the truth will continue to set free, open eyes and break down any walls being put up.