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A constantly curious and melancholic wanderer...

Saturday, July 30, 2016

The times they are a changin..

There are a few things that have drastically changed since I became a mom...
  • I killed the OCD-me and embraced the MESSY-me.  I used to feel so wonderful when my house was so clean that I could actually smell it (yes, I have a few screws loose I know), now I feel wonderful when I see the smile on a little boy's face as he spreads peanut-butter play dough all over the floor after leaving a trace off Lego blocks over the whole living room area.  I have a really messy house now, but I think it is a happy one.  
  • I almost never go to the bathroom alone anymore.  This was something to get used to, but if I go to the bathroom and leave Xander alone, he will be crying and wanting to know what I am up to behind closed doors or he might climb on top of a chair and reach for something and fall, or just create more havoc than you can imagine possible in a minute or two.  It's not so bad really, at least I have someone handing me toilet paper now...
  • I am never sure anymore when last I washed my hair, which leads to me washing it either everyday or possibly leaving it one day too long without washing.  I really try to remember, but it's like my brain is too full with routines, nap schedules, the next meal and a million opinions about how to discipline your child in a loving way, that it just decided to stop remembering the trivial things.  
  • I watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and especially the "Hotdog Song" on a daily basis.  
  • I stare for hours at the adventures of a little 14 month old boy and are amazed every step of the way.  I struggle to remember what I did with my time before I had Xander.
  • I shower with a toilet brush.  This one might sound very strange, but the only place that I can keep the toilet brush away from curious little hands (gross) is to put it in the shower and close the door.  So usually when I take a shower at night, I realize that I have company (gross again), but I am usually too tired to move it and besides, it makes me smile because I am reminded of those curious little hands.  
  • When I drive these days, I make animal sounds.  Or I dance like a crazy person, swaying my ponytail from side to side, singing to the top of my voice (oh wait, this one I might have done before)... This makes Xander laugh and there is nothing more beautiful in the world than the sound of his laughter.  
  • I spend part of my day in a cage.  We have a playpen for Xander and off-course the idea was that he would spend some time there on his own playing with his toys, while I prepare supper or clean the kitchen.  I mostly use it now to take a break from life, with a toddler climbing over me like I am mountain he needs to conquer, trying to send a message or two to family or friends (usually a failed attempt), usually just lying on the floor and watching him happily playing because he knows I am there, and smiling because at least the chaos is now restricted to a smaller area.  
  • I plan my life around naps, not mine (how I wish) and also speak in nap-terms in most of my conversations. "Yes, I will meet you after his afternoon nap", "No, he hasn't had his morning nap yet, so I couldn't look at your email yet."
  • I plan my day by dividing it in two parts:  things I can do when Xander is awake and things I can only do when he is asleep.  For now it seems to be working. For instance, I can shower, make my bed, clean the house etc when Xander is awake, but I cannot read from the Bible or respond to emails when he is awake.  Some days, I actually cannot even achieve the goals I set out for myself to do while he is awake, but who actually needs a clean house and to shower? 
  • 90% of the reading I do, is on how to be a better mom.  The rest of the reading is distraction-books to keep me from going insane from all the mommy-information.  
  • I use boxes not only for recycling, but also to make creative spaces and play tools for a inquisitive little boy.  I am a big fan of boxes. We eat in a box, draw and paint in a box, use a box for a push-car and make tunnels from boxes. 
  • I use the sink, not only to wash the dishes, but to calm down, entertain and distract this little boy at least two times a day.  Thank goodness we stay in Mauritius and I can do this even in the winter time.  
  • My husband and I used to have a date night every week, now we are thankful for a 30 minute coffee date in a busy week. 
  • We talk and laugh together even more than before, because we have a common interest that both of us get so excited about.  
  • We adjust our lives everyday around a little man's schedules, moods and preferences.  But we are okay with it, because we have so much fun together no matter what we do or how we do it. 
  • If possible I am even more in love with my husband than before.  I used to see his soft side only with me and now I get to see it with my other favourite little person and it just makes my heart and my knees week. 
  • I used to feel good after I exercised quite intensely for at least 5 times a week.  Now, I feel like I earned a medal if I did two good sessions a week.  
  • I used to be very strict with my diet and were what people would call a "health freak", now I eat a piece of (dark at least) chocolate everyday, just because I can and I feel I deserved it.
  • I used to drink a glass of wine or two per week, now I have one almost every night (except for at the moment, where I am actually fasting from alcohol for 40 days - what a bright idea right?)   
  • Most of the things I said I will never do when I become a mom, I have done a few times already or at least once out of desperation and I am okay with that too.
  • I sometimes blow-dry my shirt or pants to get rid of a few creases because I simply don't have the energy or time to change into something else (this doesn't always work).
  • I sit on the floor a lot. 
  • I eat scraps of left-over food throughout the day and some of it I find later in my clothes or in my hair. 
  • I jump like a frog, leopard crawl, go down slides and show my belly-button a few times in a day all to get that special smile I love so much. 
  • I used to love my life but now I absolutely adore it and I find it an even bigger adventure than before... (this does not mean that I think parenthood is easy, it is the hardest damn thing I have ever done).

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